My Mask and Cape

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It’s one of those days. You know the kind. You spent a little longer getting ready in the morning. You’re not only having a good hair day, but a good make-up day too! (Which we all know is usually one or the other) You wear your favorite outfit to give you that extra pop of confidence because you usually feel so good in it! You put in all the effort to make this be a great day, but it’s not a great day.

I wear this never-ending rain cloud over my head well. Most days I can pretend it’s not there and just keep up with attitude that I don’t care and it doesn’t bother me when he stands me up…again. The attitude where I pretend not to hear all the whispers from people as I walk past them. The attitude where I pretend I’m really happy with myself and my life…. But when I’m alone it’s hard to keep the show going. It’s hard being the Entertainer and the Audience at the same time. Especially when the mirror shows the reality of it all. I’m not Super Woman, as much as I like to think I can do it all. I’m not as strong as I appear, as optimistic as I seem to others, or hopeful as I like to wish.

My mind is like a fast pace kaleidoscope, just racing all the time with multiple different thoughts going at once. They never seem to slow down or stop. Even when I’m deep in thought, it’s never a single thought. It’s multiple thoughts that scatter around each other. You think that with as busy and fast pace as my life is, I’d be more apt to move on from things. And I am… in a way. I put things to the side and refuse to think of them by distracting myself with the other million thoughts in my head. But I never deal with it. I just defer it a little longer.

If you were to ever meet me in person and ask if I was over my ex, I would probably laugh and make a funny comment about how much happier I am without him and his lousy performance in the bedroom. However, if you were a fly on the wall when I’m alone, most likely driving and listening to music, you’d see a tear or two slip away from my eyes. You’d see me glance over to my passenger seat on occasion and smile as I replay the memories of him holding my hand in the car, or the memories of him gleaming with happiness that I accepted the invitation to be his girlfriend again and how he couldn’t hide how happy he was and he reached over and kissed my cheek. He always had a way of making me smile. Though the words he last spoke to me still haunt me, it’s hard not to miss his spider veins and the way I felt when he use to hold me. Those last words play like a broken record in the back of my head constantly. “I don’t want you.” “I don’t love you” “I can’t make myself want you.” “I can’t make myself love you.” Deeming me as two of my biggest fears in my life, unwanted and unloved. In all honestly, most days, most nights, fewer car rides alone, I am over my ex. He crushed me. I don’t like to admit that he broke my heart, but he did. I find myself second guessing myself all the time now. Especially now that I’m dating again. And then there was the turn around guy who lit a spark in me that I thought would never again be lit.

My turn around guy. The guy that filled me up again thinking that maybe my ex was wrong. The guy that made me feel like I was special. For the first time in a long time, I felt pretty. I felt happy. I felt wanted. With him, I didn’t have to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I could just be “Meg“. A person that hides from 99% of the people she comes in contact with. A person that comes out when shades are drawn and no ones around. The girl who cries at Disney Princess movies because she wants to feel that special. The girl who laughs at every episode of the Office. The girl who loves chocolate, but hates white chocolate. The girl who wants adventure, but hates to admit she doesn’t want them alone.I didn’t have to wear my mask or my Super Woman cape when I was with him. Just being “Meg“, he told me I was the most genuine and sweet and beautiful person he had ever met. Him and his roommates would call me “Angel” because of how sweet, caring, genuine, and pretty I was. It is one of my favorite nicknames I have ever received from anyone. imagesCAK6SOZD

Needless to say with my over thinking, self-doubt, and awkwardness, things didn’t work out between me and turn around guy. He had someone break his heart too. I honestly believe that if neither of us had our hearts broken before, that there could have been something magical and real between us. But we were both scared of getting hurt again. Scared of seeing the same results. My turn around guy is a great guy and I do wish nothing but happiness for him. However, he ended up letting me down. I believed him, thought he was different, and trusted that he meant what he said. I know he promised with the best of intentions, but he just couldn’t live up to the promises. And with that, he continued to get my hopes up and I would watch them fall, over and over and over again. Towards the end of our little fling, he apologized for everything and wanted to make it up to me and wanted to try again. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But as weeks past and plans continued to fall through and the texts got brief and further apart, I had to come to the realization that every girls hates to reach. If he wanted to be with me, he’d be with me. He’s just not that into me. Sucks to hear, but it’s true. I think he started to talking to someone else. Which sucked too, but it happens. My turn around guy did do something that I will always be thankful for.

He reminded me what butterflies feel like.

I try my hardest, I really do. I know to some it doesn’t seem like it. But I’m trying to keep my head above the water. I’m trying not to drown in it all. I like to think it’s working. Though sometimes I feel I’m getting swept away in the tides. I trust God. I know he’s going to lead me where I need to be, with the people I need to be with.

 I’ll just keep wearing my mask and cape until my own Super Man comes to my rescue and shows me that I am enough without them.

 

To trying to find your way in the world,

Just Meg

xoxo

Benefits of Being Single! Hollah!

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I am so tired of listening to my coworkers, friends, family members, social media, movies, etc. rant and rave about how great relationships are! Good for you all! I’m truly happy for all of you who have someone “special” in their lives. But you know who else I’m happy for? Me and all the single ladies and gents out there! Can I please get a big HELL YEAH for all those people out there who are leading independent and free lives out there?! Instead of listing a bunch of sad depressing country love songs to make us feel terrible for being alone, or listing a bunch of reasons why we can’t find “love”, or talking about how great being a “couple” is, I’m going to shake things up!

Here are some FABULOUS BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE! (HOLLAH)

  1. Hog the bed! – We (singles) can spread out on that bed, toss and turn, and take up the queen sized bed without have to worry if we’re giving someone else enough space.
  2. No waking up to morning wood poking my ass! – Okay, this one is for single girls mostly. But come on ladies, how annoying is it to wake up with a guy who’s poking you with his little “wake up call” in the butt to get your attention to let you know he’s “UP”.
  3. No waking up to loud snoring in the middle of the night! – I dated a guy who I would’ve sworn was Darth Vader by the way his snoring sounded. It was like Darth Vader choking mixed with a dog barking. So loud and so annoying!
  4. Covers all to ourselves! – I am such a blanket stealer, but my ex was too! So we would sleep fight with each other to get the covers back! Now I can snuggle all up in my blankets all to myself. So cozy!
  5. Get your Flirt on! – We now have the power to flirt with anyone we want, anytime we want, and not feel guilty about making our significant other mad or jealous.
  6. Jealousy is not an issue! – Not having to worry about my partner getting hit on, or worst hitting on someone else, is such a great feeling when you have no one to make jealous or get jealous over.
  7. Money! – Oh, you have to buy your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner’s mother something for her birthday? That sucks! I’ll be at the spa, getting pampered with the money I saved by switching to single! 🙂
  8. Not answering to someone all the time! – Don’t need to call, text, message, Facebook, tweet, email, snap, etc. to let them know what I’m doing all the time or where I’m going.
  9. No nasty stank! – Guys can smell! BAD! I’m not saying girls don’t ever smell bad. But, come on, it’s nothing compared to how gross guys smell sometimes. Like who took a shit on you today? No more worries about stinky lovers! 🙂
  10. Time For Friends! – Going out with the ladies or poker night with the guys, we got all the time for our besties out there!
  11. No Pretending to like someone’s family! – Okay, you’re single now, you can admit that his mother wasn’t your favorite in the person to be around. She always made snide comments about you, which he always denied she meant! Now you don’t have to put up with people you don’t like.
  12. Sweatpants Love! – Absolutely love the feeling of coming home after a long day of work and sinking into your favorite pair of sweats! No need to throw on more confined clothes to look good for someone else. Pshh.. Let it all hang out!
  13. No More Faking! – No more faking orgasms to spare feelings. If you don’t got it – no worries. & If you do got it – no need to ask permission to first.
  14. Shaving! – You don’t need to shave every single day. You decide when and where you want to shave.
  15. Insecurities! – No insecurities to deal with except your own.
  16. No Sharing! – Eat that chocolate molten cake all to yourself! You don’t need to share it with anyone 🙂
  17. No More Excuses To Get Out Of Sex! – You don’t have to make up that you might be PMSing, or have cramps or a headache anymore!
  18. The Remote Control! – You get that bad boy all to yourself! No one else gets a say on what to watch. Friends Marathon? I think so 🙂
  19. No Annoying Habits To Deal With! –  That one is pretty self-explanatory 😉
  20. Only Messes To Clean Are Your Own! – No more picking up his dirty socks or doing his dirty dishes.
  21. Toilet Seat! – It only moves when you move it. No more falling into the toilet in the middle of the night when you have to pee because he left the lid up!
  22. Sex! – Yes, single people still have sex. Sometimes more than couples.
  23. Pleasuring Yourself! – Go for it! No one else cares anymore if you are getting the job done yourself. No feelings to spare. Only your feelings to care to!
  24. Movies! – Love being able to watch as many chic flicks or romantic comedies as I want without listening to someone complaining or proving how that could never happen in real life.
  25. Hobbies! – Spending more time doing what you really love.
  26. Adventures! – Going on random crazy adventures with your friends!
  27. Security! – Never having to wonder if the other person loves you, misses you, finds you attractive, is cheating on you, thinks of other people in bed, is going to dump you, etc.
  28. Travel! – Traveling where the hell you want because you don’t have to worry about leaving someone behind or someone getting jealous over your adventures.
  29. Confidence!  – Being single is a great way to build your own confidence, instead of it relying on someone else who may up and leave someday!
  30. Yourself! – Getting to know yourself is the best benefit of being single in the whole world! Learning about yourself, what you like, what you don’t like, where you want to go, what you want to see, who you want to be, etc. The best gift you can give yourself, is being single long enough to really know who you are as a single human being. Because we all know we change a little when we’re with someone else.

I could literally keep talking about how awesome being single is, but I think you all get my point. Be proud of how independent and awesome you are! Go out tonight and have a toast to celebrate your single fabulous life! You only have a small amount of years single, before the rest of your life spending it with someone else. Enjoy being single. Don’t dwell on how great it could be enjoying your life with someone else. Life is great when you’re alone too! Life isn’t going to be any easier just because you have someone to sleep next to at night. Don’t let your happiness depend on anyone else but yourself.

To Being Single & Fabulous,

Just Meg

xoxo

Hotties at the gym! (Why it’s hard to talk to guys at the gym)

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“The gym is the watering hole for singles”  – Um, who the heck said that?

 

 

I go to the gym about 3-4 times a week and let me say it is hard to look attractive and sexy while you’re running on the treadmill dripping sweat and huffing and puffing like you’re about to blow the gym down. Because when I go to the gym, get this, I actually work out! I know, shocker! Whenever I see girls on TV or in movies working out at the gym, I’m like there is NO WAY in hell you look that skinny and barely sweating after a work out. I’ve tried running, cycling, elliptical, and some group exercise classes. Yet I’ve still never left the gym without sweat dripping down my face! I’ve got to admit, I’m proud of that, because it means I’m actually working out.

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*Note to anyone who’s busting their ass to get in shape: If you look like a sweaty hot mess after – you’re doing it right! :)*

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Now with that said, let me explain how my gym is set up a little. There are two rows of treadmills placed directly next to the lifting section, where we all know is where 90% of the guys at the gym are. And we also know, that there is something sexy about a hunky, muscular and toned man lifting and working out. Though, I could go without the loud grunting noises from the overly swollen guys who are trying way too hard. We get it – You can open any jar in your house!

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Anyways, back to the hunkies that don’t grunt every time they pick up a weight. They are directly in front of the treadmills, which we all know is where about 80% of the girls in the gym are. So we (girls), have perfect views of the guys muscles tightening when they lift, and the guys have perfect views of our “girls” bouncing up and down as we run on the treadmill. It’s the perfect set up really. This gym clearly knew what we wanted as motivation when we run.

If I had Brody Jenner, Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum, John Krasinski, Zac Efron, Will Smith, Trey Songz, Ryan Lochte and/or Ryan Gosling working out in front of me, let’s just say the treadmill would be the only thing keeping me from just running towards them! 🙂

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So back to why it’s so hard to approach anyone at the gym. Though my gym has a great set up, and there is a great number of very attractive men, there’s one problem. Why would anyone want to approach a sweaty mess at the gym? I mean, seriously? Especially when we’re running on the treadmills. When I’m running I’m usually  jamming out to a fast paced song, reading the captions on ESPN (I love sports), and trying not to trip or fall off the treadmill. Unfortunately, that has happened to me quite a few times. I’m a bit clumsy. 🙂

Here’s what usually happens to me when I see a cute guy at the gym and he notices me.

Me: (On the treadmill sweating like a sinner in Church – Like a really bad sinner!) *In the middle of mouthing a Nicki Minaj rap part in a song*

Hunky McHunkerson: *looks at me and smiles*

Me: *Smiles back and then chuckles to myself because I’m excited and can’t hide it very well*

Hunky McHunkerson: Takes a drink from his water bottle and then smiles at me AGAIN!

Me: Okay, now I’m just super excited I could dance but I’m running so I can’t do that. I’m starting to lose focus so I put all my energy into running faster…which makes me sweat more.

Hunky McHunkerson: Continues working out and notices me when I’m laying on the floor from exhaustion and walks over me to get the blonde toothpick who apparently doesn’t have sweat glands!

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Okay, I’ve never laid on the floor at the gym. But the rest is pretty accurate. Meeting cute people at the gym is hard. Especially when you actually work out at the gym, because then you sweat. And if you’re anything like me, then you know you’re not quite looking your best when you’re hot and sweaty!

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But let’s just admit that we’ve all been the girl on the right in this photo! Where we just don’t want to do anything physical unless it involves one of our Motivational Hotties! 🙂

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Oh well, I’ll just use Hunky McHunkerson as eye candy and motivation as I run towards Brody Jenner in my mind 🙂

 

Please enjoy the pictures of hot men I included in this post. They keep me motivated to keep in shape! I want to marry someone who looks like them! 🙂

(Try not to drool on your keyboards 😉 )

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Take a minute to place your vote in the poll to see who’s the number one “Motivation Hottie”!

 

To sweating at the gym because you’re actually working your ass off,

Just Meg

xoxo

What “hooking up” is really like in college! (told thru GIFs)

We’ve all been there! Drunk and lonely and in the mist of the alcohol induced excitement, you go home with a guy you danced with at the party. It’s the first time “hooking up” with someone you weren’t dating. It’s exciting and awkward as you leave with him back to his place! Don’t hold too much shame in yourself walking those steps back to your place the next morning. We’ve all been there!

Here’s what “hooking up” is really like in college… Shown thru some hilarious GIFs.

 

 

Your roommate drags you to a Frat Party, that the guy she’s been Facebook stalking since Freshmen Orientation, is pledging to.

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You guys start dancing with some frat guys and are too drunk to notice how they’re actually dancing with you.college

 

Then the hot guy you saw playing beer pong earlier, catches you looking at him.

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He walks over and you manage not to make a complete fool of yourself. You guys actually start hitting it off when he asks if you want to go back to his dorm to “hang out”. You get a good vibe from him and feel comfortable and safe with him.

So you’re all like…

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While, he sends a text to his roommate not to come back to the dorm that night, you let your roommate know what’s going down, by giving her the “signal” you guys came up with in the beginning of the year incase anything like this happened. (which you swore it probably wouldn’t use because you “weren’t the kind of girl to just go back to some random guy’s place to get it ON“)

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You guys are back at his place, and you skip the small talk and get right to business.

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Then, right before things start to heat up, you hear your mother’s voice in your head saying something like…

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In which you respond in your head to that voice like this…

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Then you get back to business with the hot beer pong champion guy (classy I know)

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and then you guys head to the bed to start… you know…

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Unfortunately, you’re both drunk, so in your head you’re thinking the sex is like this…

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When in reality it’s more like this…

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Once you guys are done… you kind of lay there next to each other… in awkward silence…

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You guys kind of chuckle to each other, make some comments, like “that was great”. And then he falls asleep… while you’re wide awake and start to feel guilty for what you did…

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(Which you’re not! It’s not like you do this every night!)

You finally drift off to sleep after noticing his poor choice of movie posters and naked girl lay outs on his wall. The next morning you wake up before him. Now’s your chance… sneak out of there!

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But that fails… You wake him up in the process of trying to climb over him to get out of the bed. You make some awkward small talk about how hungover you both are…

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Once you’ve gotten dressed, exchanged numbers, and finished the awkward line of, “I’ll see you around”, you proceed towards your walk of shame back to your own dorm. Which for girls is like this…

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While the walk of shame for guys is more like this…

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Once you get back to your dorm, your roommate pesters you with a TON of questions! She wants every detail and all you can really say is…

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You tell your friend everything! And you guys laugh up your big “hooking up” adventure! 

She makes me you feel less guilty and less slutty!

Which is what friends are for! 🙂

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Was that anything like your first hook up experience? Tell your story here! 🙂

 

To disobeying our mother’s rules in college,

(Just kidding Mom! LOL)

To making the best of college memories,

Just Meg

xoxo